Stereotypes R Us
A few weeks ago I was down on Aurora Blvd. getting a radio put in our car. Aurora is a stretch of strip malls that runs from Seatac airport in the south, all the way to Everett in the north. It could be described as a ‘working area’ since some of the men are working and there are lots of ‘working women’ on the street.
I had a few hours to kill while waiting for my car, so I walked down to a St. Vincent De Paul thrift store where I bought several low cost treasures and trinkets. I even got a first edition copy of Black Beauty for $5. Carrying my loot in several St. Vincent de Paul bags, I made my way up Aurora, until I saw Sunny’s Teryaki, where I went in for lunch.
Setting my bags on a table, I heard the owner yell at me, “No use bathroom, unless you buy something!” I assured him that I was there to eat lunch and I had the money to pay for it- no problem.
As I was sitting and beginning to eat my spicy chicken and rice with a nice side salad, the owner came out to see me and placed a long thin blue card on the table in front of my plate. Glancing at my thrift store bags, he said confidently, “This will help you with your problems!” I glanced at the card and it had a list of about a dozen AA groups that were meeting in the area.
Assuming it was just a good-natured misunderstanding, I thanked him for his thoughtfulness and continued eating my way too spicy chicken. By now I’m pretty sure my face is turning red and I’m sweating through my shirt from the hot peppers. About 10 minutes later he returned to my table. “You have girlfriend or wife?” He asked.
Yes, I assured him that I’ve been married to Eileen for several decades. Without pausing to listen, he quickly pointed to the bottom part of the blue card and said, “This will help her with her problems!” Glancing down to where he pointed, I saw the Narcotics Anonymous groups and their meeting times.
Smiling, I thanked him, then just to clarify I pointed out that despite my thrift store bags and the fact that I was walking along the street, I wasn’t an alcoholic and Eileen was definitely not a drug addict, though I did appreciate his attempts to be of help. He just rolled his eyes and said, “yeah, sure but this could really help you with your problems.” As he walked back into the kitchen.
Just then I thought of the church!
How often do we presume people’s needs without taking time to get to know them as people? Perhaps our evangelism is so impotent because we are giving answers to questions that are not being asked, while trying to fix problems that may not exist.
Now that I have been profiled and stereotyped and written off as a hopeless indigent, I regret that Sunny missed a chance to get to know me. Who knows he might have been able to help me with one of the many real problems I do have!
on September 29th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
John, What a journey you took me on. You gave me a laugh and something to ponder. Great idea Damien, of the Blog. Keep writing. KIM
on September 30th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Reminds me of another time when you were mistaken for someone else – (evening service – jeans and flipflops…)… Stereotyping is usually not a good thing, though I’m quite guilty of doing it myself. Getting to know a person is a much better idea, as first impressions aren’t always as they seem.
on September 30th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I am reminded of how often my view of things around me is colored by things that happened in my childhood. That’s a great deal of what obscures the “glass” of my life. Thanks for reminding me again that I have to look at things from God’s view.
on October 1st, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Reminds me of a video I recently stumbled upon…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrDxe9gK8Gk
on January 21st, 2010 at 12:27 am
Apologies for stumbling across this months after the New Year.
After reading this and thinking about the story, did it occur to anyone else, that when the “helpful” owner slid the card to you and said “This will help you with your problems!”, that God may have been suggesting a different path for you? What if the real intent was to attend an AA meeting, not to treat you for alcoholism, but to help save those abusing their God given bodies, and your wife in turn to do the same at the NA meeting?
His plans fequently differ from ours and place us on paths we did not intend, but raather on paths that serve His plans more fully than our own half-baked attempts.
on March 31st, 2010 at 6:41 pm
I was thinking how fun it would have been if you left him your “business” card.